An Xalent State Of Mind

14th october 2013 On this night my daughter and I ate beef sausages with bread and shared one small box of ceres juice, mango flavour. I will not forget this day because this is the day I have gotten tired of being kind, being understanding and being soft. I feel bad because in all my life today I feel the most worthless. Worthless because in the morning my daughter carried plain bread to school. Worthless because due to not having gas I picked up my daughter after 21 hours from her aunt's house. Worthless because with the money I had borrowed we bought a loaf of bread and 2 beef sausages and the ceres juice so that we could eat. Why are we eating such a meager and mediocre meal you may ask?... Its because there is completely no food in the house. Nothing. So. I sit here and ask myself why this is so. From a house that had it all, lots of food, juice and whatever you would want to snack on. Why is this bad run of luck coming my way?...why am I failing in my basic duties as a man,...

Waking up every day and having to do the same stuff everyday is the most monotonous thing I have ever done in my life. Wake up, take a crap, brush teeth, take a bath, dress up..... Get to work and have this guy push you around and make you feel like your efforts are unnoticed. Wake up a few days later and try to do your usual routine in reverse order but you still end up being frustrated by your boss or work. It sucks I know. So I decided to switch things around. I got rid of the irritating bosses and replaced them with the meanest I have ever come across. This bastard pushes me to the edge. He is unforgiving and doesn't want to hear me make excuses. The idiot won't even give me a day off, lord knows I need it. Being in the family business is hard because you know you are working for something that will last in the family for years to come. By the way, said bastard is me. Now we have our daily routine slightly adjusted to include a moment of self motivation, telling myself I ...

parental Advisory: explicit word used. Just one. Many a time people look at the next person and laugh at them for something that they did or something that happened to them. This is usually because the laughers are happy because attention has been diverted to another person .... Naaaaaaah... People are just nosey and spiteful. They always want to know what is going on in somebody else' life and want to be the first to laugh and spread the news. Well... I am not here to talk about other people lest I lower myself to their level. I am Here to talk about the most important person in my life, me. I can safely say I have been through the sewer, got immersed in shit....waded through the crap that is the by product of what people take in. The stuff they are fed or feed themselves.... The rumours, the sensational stories, the true stories And the lies. Even when you eat good food it still comes out as smelly shit. So....people feed on this stuff and whatever comes out after is smelly......