An Xalent State Of Mind

So... In my previous post I was saying FTW and to be honest that's how I felt all day. Between then and now I tried to numb the pain by going for a few drinks. Tried offloading the weight by telling 'my best friend L' about how I feel and why I was feeling that way but nothing worked. So I walk into the house, maid opens the door and then this little thing about a fifth of my height screams 'Papa!! Surprise!!!' And then she dips her body and springs into my arms for a warm embrace and a lovely kiss. 'Papa you have come backed?', this little lovely creature asks. 'Yes baby I am back.' I reply. 'Wow I missed you.' She says afterwards. The above conversation made me feel so alive and full of purpose. My daughter always reminds me why I have to keep on pushing, why I have to be my best... Why I have to see things through and basically why I hope out of bed and go out to work. I remember the day she was born, 19th April, 2009 at ...

So i had a bad dream... it was simple. I was in a car I have never driven before, a Land Rover 110, yes the old one from that ad many many many many years ago where a guy is stuck in a dam and he uses a winch to put the vehicle out? Yeah.... that sexy add. (Let me youtube it even). Anyway, there i was driving from Makeni and i run over a guy on an Eagle bicycle and the guy got all mangled (what do you expect, I hit him with one of the toughest vehicles ever made) then as I swerved off the road I hit a white Toyota Altezza or as I prefer to call it, The Zambian Ferrari. So anyway I had a bad dream in which I killed about three people. I have had this heavy feeling today and it has really dragged me down. Not looking forward to anything and not even eating (yes and I am always hungry). I have been feeling so angry most of the day and the world around me is not making things any easier by throwing all sorts of pressure at me. I am not saying I crack easily under pressure but we all ha...